I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
