she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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