Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
