that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
