small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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