I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
