i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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