I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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