He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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