No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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