i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
