i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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