I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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