That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
