Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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