suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
