I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
