I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
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Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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