You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
