I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize