you're like a bully in the Christmas story
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
