Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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