Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
