sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think your dad took our porno
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
