Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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