how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
