This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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