bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
