I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
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Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
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He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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