There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
