I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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