I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
