do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
