Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
