Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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