who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
