hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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