I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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