i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
