it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
