Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
