i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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