Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
