True but thats because hes a fetus.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
