I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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