sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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