i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
