Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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