Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
