no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
