Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
