So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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