went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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