Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
