I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
