Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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