Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
