Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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