You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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