I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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