soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
