hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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