Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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