O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
